I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Randomize
