Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
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We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
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He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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