he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize