I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
