You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
