By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
