they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Randomize
