True but thats because hes a fetus.
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Randomize
