Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
i wish my penis had a tongue
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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