Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
I think I am morally bankrupt
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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