just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
You took a bar mat shot.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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