This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
