i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
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