And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
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