i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
