Apparently you make a good broom.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
