Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
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