If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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