It's a beautiful day for a hangover
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Randomize
