dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
