it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
