And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
