why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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