My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick