I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.