lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Threesome in a minivan. New low
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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