I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
So I just went to clothing optional bar