We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.