Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
Randomize
