He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
jump out the window naked night went bad
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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