How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Randomize
