So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
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