Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
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