who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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