I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Randomize
