we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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