there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Randomize
