you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
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