im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Randomize