i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
