I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
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