How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
