I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
Randomize
