My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Randomize
