if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.