mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
23 Millennials Confess The Things They Wish They Weren’t Attracted To
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
23 Gruesome Scientific Facts That Will Make You Squirm
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...