Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
21 Of The Most Regrettable Tattoo Ideas Ever
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
These 25 People Had Very Inappropriate Sexual Relations(hips)
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night