i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
These 25 People Are Obsessed With Pizza
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
16 Sexual Experiences EVERYONE Should Have At Least Once
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.