I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.