someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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