If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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