we have officially lost it.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
