it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
Randomize