i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
