Just cropdusted the office
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
