I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
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saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
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Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
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