Plan B is the new Plan A
fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize
