Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize