if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
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