i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
