i used baking grease as lip gloss
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
