Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
